These three little words were SO scary to me at first. “Write Your Story”. I used to think, “Why in the world would I want to do that!?” or start tearing myself down by filling my head with silly little lies from The King of all lies himself, The Devil. I would tell myself “no one is going to care about your story”, “your story is so bland” “God isn’t going to use your story to help people! They will hate you!” And yes, I believed these lies. I believed these to my very core, until God told me not to be afraid.
The minute I started to believe God, is when the fear stopped. So here I go. Growing up as a preacher’s kid was not easy. Don’t get me wrong, it was a blessing to be raised in a Christian home, and I’m SUPER thankful for it, but it was hard. As the
child of a preacher, people oftentimes tend to put these unknown expectations on you.
I felt I was expected to be the perfect person. Be a “role model” for everyone in our church’s we were at–or at least the young ones. Basically, the expectation that I felt was that I was perfect, never messed up, was expected to be super involved with the church, be on leadership, etc. I felt burdened by it.
It wasn’t until I started branching away from my dad’s church to another that I realized that I didn’t have to try be perfect. Thanks to an awesome women’s LifeGroup at Steven’s Street, I learned that it’s totally okay to mess up, and it’s okay if people know it. My purpose in life shouldn’t be to try to please people, but to please The Lord. Once I learned that, it felt like a HUGE burden had been lifted off my shoulders and I could breathe again! Because of blood Jesus shed on the cross, I can BOLDLY approach the throne of Christ with FULL CONFIDENCE and ASSURANCE that I am loved, accepted, and cherished NO MATTER WHAT MISTAKES I MAKE. And knowing this, gave me peace. Now let’s take a walk down memory lane in my middle school years.
Even though I had peace, as a young kid in grade school, I was bullied. A lot.It really hurt my self-esteem. I was bullied for being a preacher’s kid and “goodie two shoes”, for wearing glasses, for what I wore,where I lived, and especially my commitment to practice abstinence. You name it, I probably experienced it. At one point, I remember that I just stopped wearing my glasses altogether because I kept being called “four eyes” and it really kicked my self esteem. I wanted to be “normal” like the other kids and be called pretty. I didn’t feel that I was pretty because of what names kids used to call me. For a long time I still struggled with appearance due to what people had said before. Sometimes I couldn’t tell when people were joking or being hateful. Thankfully though, through all the chaos, GOD WAS STILL FAITHFUL. Even though I wasn’t always seeking God, HE was still after me and was working even when I couldn’t see it.
I changed schools about 9 times before moving to Cookeville, and that was hard. I had finally started to make friends, get comfortable, and then 2 years later, moving and starting all over. Eventually, once in Cookeville, we stayed. I made lots of friends here and felt important, and then high school came. Although I still had the same friends, I still felt alone. My friends were all going in different directions, beliefs changed, relationships changed, and I found myself as the oddball out.
Over time, I became used to being different and being alone, and I was actually okay with that. For a while. After I graduated, I
began praying really hard that God would do something miraculous in my life and lead me to Godly friends that I could trust, grow with, learn with, cry with, and just do life with. After praying for a few years about friends, I ended up getting a job at LifeWay Christian Bookstore and met a wonderful lady who approached me about a Bible study she was starting. Turned out she, and a couple of other lady associates went to the same church! (That was TOTALLY a God thing!).
Well, I accepted the invite, and BAM! 2 years of praying and praying and The Lord blesses me with Godly friends. I was SO thankful. These ladies have been a blessing to me. And here I am, 3 years after that first meeting and more thankful than ever for the friendship of the ladies I met in that group. God knew what I needed when He sent them my direction. I’m still extremely
close with them and we have laughed, cried, shouted, rejoiced, grown, and just walked life together.
I guess my point in telling you all of this was, that NO MATTER WHAT kind of obstacle life throws at you–whether it be a death, loss of job, loss of friends, bullying, or anything else–GOD PROVIDES, GOD HEALS, GOD CARES, and God is ALWAYS WORKING behind the scenes of our stages of life. He’s always waiting, watching, guiding, and protecting us even if we don’t pay attention or always seek Him.
I would LOVE to hear the stories of my readers, and get to know them!Regardless of what background you come from, or what you are going through right now. I want to hear your story! You can get those to me by subscribing, leaving it in the comments, or emailing me them! If you are okay with it, I would like to post a few of them, so just let me know! May God bless each and every one of you immensely!
Here is video from Francesca Battistelli that really helps me remember that even though I fail continually in life, it’s not really about me. It’s about letting God write HIS STORY on me.